Disappointed snail enthusiast

Authors
Jim Logan
Issue
10
Page
15

I bought the sweets shown in the attachment and was shocked to find that the packet contained not the snails shown on the outside but only liquorice spirals. Very disappointing. Incensed, I wrote a poem of complaint and sent it to the Woolworths Customer Service. I am still waiting for a reply. However, I thought that you might like to include the following in the next edition of Mollusc World as a warning to any Conchologist who might be tempted to buy this product.

To Woolworths Customer Service dept on buying a packet of their Liquorice Snails and finding that it contained only spirals

I bought a bag of liquorice snails.

I look inside and my face pales.

I show them to my wife who wails

“You’ve been done! These are not snails.

They have no heads; they have no tails.

How can they claim that these are snails?”

The picture on the packet fails

To show that these are coils not snails.

It shows them with both heads and tails,

Eyes and mouth and tentecails.

It breaks all the laws of retail

To pack a coil and show a snail

Would you sell toy trains without rails?

Would you sell cricket stumps sans bails?

Or Monopoly sets without jails?

Seaside spades with no pails?

So why sell coils without heads or tails

And try to claim that they are snails?