(courtesy of www.manandmollusc.net – an interesting site with loads of other stuff)
• Why don't they serve escargots at McDonald's restaurants?
Because at McDonalds, they serve fast food. (joke by -Tim Pearce-)
• This guy was washing the dishes in his kitchen and he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door and there was nobody there. Just as he was closing it he looked down and saw a snail. "What do you want?" he asked the snail.
"Can I have a glass of water please?" replied the snail.
"No, clear off!" shouted the guy and he booted the snail down to the bottom of the garden.Two months later he was in the kitchen again and he heard another knock at the door. He opened the door, looked down, and saw the snail again.
"What do you want?" he shouted.
"Why did you do that?" said the snail.
• Two postal workers had just gotten off their routes for the day when one of the postal workers saw the other step on a snail. "Why did you step on that snail,Tom?!," asked his perplexed coworker.
"Cause that darn snail's been following me around work all day!"
• One way to become a shell collector is to take a bag of marbles to the beach. Each time you pick up a shell, drop a marble on the beach, so the waves will cover the marble with sand. Keep doing this until all the marbles are hidden in the beach sand.When you’ve lost all your marbles, you’ve become a shell collector!
• What to snails use to polish their houses?
They use snail varnish
(joke from Riana Parsons)