Disappointed Snail Enthusiast - 2

Authors
Jeanette de Lacey-Mann
Issue
11
Page
16

Following my complaint about Woolworth’s Liquorice Snails that weren’t (see Mollusc World 10) they finally responded with a computer generated apology (sadly not in rhyme) and a money voucher. I was disappointed that they had not replied with a poem. However a friend of mine suggested one that they might have sent.

“Dear Customer,

We regret you are unhappy

With your sale

A bag of snails without a head

Without a tail

To you a promise we must keep

You see the snails, they are asleep

A tiny snore you should hear

If you sing they will appear

But we have found they have

Some trouble appearing

As it seems this type of snail

Is hard of hearing

We hope you are not too tense

We are sorry, therefore and hence

Here’s a cheque to cheer you up

For a pound and fifty pence.”

Jeanette de Lacey-Mann 2005